It’s the morning of my 3rd Round of Chemo and as the time gets closer to heading in for my next session, my anxiety increases because I know what’s ahead of me again. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t scare me.
These last 14 days have been a mix if good and bad. Wayne’s slight misadventure into hospital with meningitis has certainly kept my mind on things other than myself. But I am pleased to say he has bounced back amazingly well, although he still tires easily, but that I guess is to be expected.
His days in hospital were my bad days, and I really need to thank again my amazing support crew. They have no idea how much they give me the crutch to hang onto and help pull me through those days. The cards that turn up in the letterbox unexpectedly that make me cry, the hugs and cuddles and letting me cry on their shoulder, the daily texts to check in on me, the visits to just sit and make me laugh, bringing me raspberries, (the most perfect food ever grown in my eyes), taking me out to buy the hat that is just right to cover the now extremely thin hair. How can I ever thank the 5 of you.
Then it’s the next level of support, that even more halts me in my tracks time and time again. The messages, phone calls and visits from everyone. From England, USA, Canada, Australia and all of you wonderful wonderful Kiwis that have messaged and let me know you’re thinking of me and all the offers of help. I wish I could put into words, the feeling of gratefulness when I read your messages. You all humble me. I thank you all and do so wish I could message you all individually, but I can’t so please take this as your personal thank-you from me.
Anyway, today is Chemo Round 3, so at the end of this 14 days, I am halfway through Chemo. For that I am so excited and also leaves me with a little trepidation wondering if these toxic cocktails are working.
I do feel blessed, as for the last 4 days I have felt so well, back to that old “she’s faking it” feeling again. But apart from feeling so well, yesterday the kids arrived home from Canada with their little man Elijah and I must say I have fallen head over heels in love with the wee man already. I also said a silent prayer that I was so well for their first day home.