New Beginnings Begin with De-Cluttering

The beginning of a new year is always a time to start thinking of what’s ahead.  The year ahead for us is exciting and I can’t wait for lots of things that we have planned to happen. I have this urge to not waste any time and jump in boots and all now. But I do need to spend some time and make some closures.

This week I have started the de-clutter.  Its time to clear my life of things we don’t need or want any more.  Trim our lives down to only the essentials and a few precious items.  I have read that this is suppose to be good for the soul.  Hmmm, more like damn hard work.  It is easy to say “be ruthless”, but when it actually comes to being ruthless, then well, it is not that easy.

I sent my sister off with a few bits of furniture on Monday, with the warning that I want them back eventually.  As they drove away, I wondered if they would ever come back or would they be absorbed into the family history like the desk and armchair after Mum passed away.  But I reminded myself, that I only have one child here to leave things too, as the other is too far away to ship things to.  So, I wiped the tears away, shook my shoulders and sent a wish after my sister that she enjoys them as much as I have.

With that I started the de-cluttering of the home office with vengeance and have actually enjoyed the sorting, filing, tossing and storing.  It will take most of this week, but by Friday, the shelves should all be ready for a few “precious things” to be moved in here and stored for some time in the future.

But to go back to closures, I spent some time helping out at the Tennis Tournament after Christmas.  Something I was unsure I would do again or even enjoy considering how I felt when I left them earlier last year.  But I must say the short time I spent there, helped me make that closure and I no longer miss the work.  I am now ready for the next life adventure.

So bring on March, a gorgeous little boy is turning 2 and will be getting a little brother soon after.  I have a new role as an Ambassador for the Pancreatic Cancer Foundation and we have lots planned for the end of May.  So exciting times ahead…….. I need to remind myself to breath.

I have another check coming up soon.  I thought it was meant to be January, but as the month comes to an end, I have not heard anything.  It shouldn’t surprise me, as I have always called myself the ”forgotten patient”.  I often wonder if the medical people actually understand the mental side of having gone through this disease.  The fear at every pain, ache or bowel movement.  The seriousness of the disease is stressed continuously while going through treatment, then suddenly the absence of contact and check-up’s leaves you feeling like your falling through a vacuum. 

I have friends who have been through breast cancer and they get so much support before treatment, when they are going through treatment and after treatment.  I am so envious.  I wish that there were other PC survivors that I could talk to.  I would love to know how they handled this vacuum.

Again I need to remind myself to breath………..

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