For the last 5 days, I have sat in Hospital while they try to find what is wrong with me. “Helloooooo” I have cancer, yes I know, but since a week ago today I have been sick. You know normal sick; headaches, fever, aches, sweats, high temperature, added in with the usual nausea and diarrhea that comes with chemo anyway. So after battling it at home and believe me at times, it felt like I had dived head first into hell, they sent me to hospital for help.
Now I shouldn’t bang on about our health system, because really we do have a wonderful one, and I would love it to stay a great one. BUT. I was admitted at 2:30 in the afternoon on Thursday and it took until 2am Friday morning to be allocated a bed on the cancer ward. For 8 hours I had the privilege of being held in the brand new CDU unit (it had only been open 3 days). It still smelt like new paint and furnishings and I must say it is an amazing ward, new and very expensive ward. I hate to think of how many million it cost. But as I lay there unable to call a nurse as I couldn’t find a call button, I wondered if some of the money spent on this ward could not have been spent on fixing the more basic problems upstairs first. If there was more space upstairs on the wards, then would there be such a need for a holding pen – oops holding unit.
The morning on the ward was depressing. In a room with 4 beds, there is no privacy. Every conversation held over the quietest of whispers is heard by everyone in the room; patients, staff, and visitors. So in this fishbowl of an environment, the room was witness to one of the beds and her family being given the news no one ever wants to hear and all the pursuing agony of defiance and grief, only for the next bed to be also given similar news, but even more loudly through the benefit of a translator. Believe me, I was ready to pack my things and text Wayne to come and get me as I was escaping before the doctors could reach my bed.
Within the room, we play musical beds as others either needed privacy or are released to go home, (something I am insisting on this afternoon). All those remaining vying for the window. As I believed I would be going home each day, I was happy to let the other beds vie for the coveted window, so my view for the majority of my time here has been brown and curtained.
They have pumped me full of antibiotics since Thursday, fixing the fever and the sweats and shakes that went along with it. The headaches and cough I am going to live with. But I need to go home as its a family birthday today and I need to be there for it.
Bring on Chemo this Wednesday and let’s try again