Anniversary

Next week marks my one year anniversary of being told I had cancer.  A lot has happened and changed over this last year.  To say it has been a hard year really would be an understatement.

A number of very important things in my life have drastically changed over this year.

I have:

• lost a job I loved
• Lost friendships that I thought were strong or found that some others have become strained (perhaps they never were what I thought they were)
• Learnt to have faith that others truly do believe they know what is best for me
• Made new and very special friends and lost some of them to this horrid disease
• Learnt to cry silently, as I don’t want to upset others and then to be strong enough to pretend that everything is OK when everything isn’t OK
• Found that I can accept help, even when I am unable to ask for it myself
• Discovered a positivity in me that I didn’t know I had
• Put myself out of my comfort zone to learn new things
• Learnt to live with fear and rise above it to fight a battle with an enemy I can’t see

There are far more than I can list here.  Some changes that have been forced on me and some I have made happily.  All that I can know for now is that I am here, I am alive, I will try to let go of all the negatives in my life and look forward to what the next year is going to bring.

If cancer comes back, well so be it, I will fight again, if not, then the year will be fun and exciting.