Days of contemplation.

It has been a while since I wrote, but as this week marks a major anniversary for me and with the current world situation, my mind is tending to wonder to and dwell on events that mark times in our lives when we are touched to the soul or our life directions are thrown off the path we are following.

For me, there have been a few.  Starting with my father dying when I was only 15.  I often wonder where my life would have taken me if he had not died then.  If I would have carried on the path I have travelled or would it have been a different one.  It feels at times the “What If?” weighs quite heavily on my mind.

I often wonder at some of the littlest of decisions that have changed the course of my life.  Or through the smallest of decisions made by those around me, to perhaps turn right and not left, that have influenced a different life track or mind set for me.

Today as I sit here and contemplate that 2 years ago this week, I was having surgery to save my life, I give thanks to a South African GP who took over when my wonderful GP retired.  Because of him we changed GP’s to one who kept pushing for a result after receiving some weird test results, which meant I am here still today.  I say thanks to the surgeon who convinced a young and upcoming english surgeon to come to spend some time in NZ under his guidance.  And while he was here, he chose to take his chances and operate, and for me at least performed a miracle, which meant I am here still today.

Now with the news of the Corona-virus shutting the world down, I again can only imagine at whose little decision it was (and how long ago), that has led the entire world to be in such a turmoil.  As little New Zealand is shutting its boarders we watch as this pandemic races across Europe and hope that we are lucky enough to miss the worst of the on-coming onslaught.

After fighting so hard not to be a cancer statistic, I now find myself as another statistic – the virus’s high-risk statistic group.  There are so many news items outlining what we should or shouldn’t do and the decision to follow which directive is not small or easy.

But for now, I think my decision is wait and see.  My decision for now is not to make a decision, but to continue doing what I am already doing.

My decision for today is to celebrate life and all the mystery of it.  I am here, the sun is shining, my family and friends are healthy, and I am still kicking butt!

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